“Seasons”
I fell for a beautiful boy
with bloodstained pillows
and a smokestained cat.
He promised me rose petals
that never existed,
but I didn’t care.
When he enticed my heart away
under a star-speckled sky,
even the summer moon was smiling.
Pressed to an autumn tree
full of fumbling admissions,
his few fleeting touches
meant more than my few fleeting words.
Kisses in a darkened theater
and innocent hands in all the right places;
the memories tumbled past too fast,
and sometimes I forgot to look.
Drunken giggles
lost in a freezing wind
trailed behind our stumbling footsteps
in the middle of the night.
Icy fingers
found a place to keep warm,
and a locket’s clasp
lay forgotten in the snow.
And when the flowers took to blooming
and the sunshine sprinkled spring across the grass,
I became a fledgling bird again
and nestled myself into his hollow heart
before we leapt from the rafters
and came across flight.
*I loved you then and I love you now. I finally feel like I've done you justice in words.
I fell for a beautiful boy
with bloodstained pillows
and a smokestained cat.
He promised me rose petals
that never existed,
but I didn’t care.
When he enticed my heart away
under a star-speckled sky,
even the summer moon was smiling.
Pressed to an autumn tree
full of fumbling admissions,
his few fleeting touches
meant more than my few fleeting words.
Kisses in a darkened theater
and innocent hands in all the right places;
the memories tumbled past too fast,
and sometimes I forgot to look.
Drunken giggles
lost in a freezing wind
trailed behind our stumbling footsteps
in the middle of the night.
Icy fingers
found a place to keep warm,
and a locket’s clasp
lay forgotten in the snow.
And when the flowers took to blooming
and the sunshine sprinkled spring across the grass,
I became a fledgling bird again
and nestled myself into his hollow heart
before we leapt from the rafters
and came across flight.
*I loved you then and I love you now. I finally feel like I've done you justice in words.
- mood:
calm - music:"Act 3, Scene 4" ~ Remember Maine
( A letter... )
*Since the Oscars were tonight, I figured I'd post this. I wrote it last year, after Brad Renfro was left out of the memorial tribute. There are not a lot of things I'm passionate enough about to get upset over, but the general reaction to Brad's death really set me off. He was a wonderful actor who changed my life with some of his films, and by all accounts, he was also a great person, despite some of the choices he made that got him into trouble. He deserves much better than what he received from most people after his death.
*Since the Oscars were tonight, I figured I'd post this. I wrote it last year, after Brad Renfro was left out of the memorial tribute. There are not a lot of things I'm passionate enough about to get upset over, but the general reaction to Brad's death really set me off. He was a wonderful actor who changed my life with some of his films, and by all accounts, he was also a great person, despite some of the choices he made that got him into trouble. He deserves much better than what he received from most people after his death.
- mood:
blank
Sometimes the she is me
And sometimes the she is you.
Sometimes the he is him or them,
And sometimes the he is me.
Sometimes neither one is anyone.
Some are things that happened;
Some are things I wish had happened;
Some are things I hope will never happen.
( Don't make assumptions. )
And sometimes the she is you.
Sometimes the he is him or them,
And sometimes the he is me.
Sometimes neither one is anyone.
Some are things that happened;
Some are things I wish had happened;
Some are things I hope will never happen.
( Don't make assumptions. )
- mood:
contemplative
( Two Somethings )
*I really have no idea what this is, where it came from, or where it's going, but it feels done so I decided to post it. Parts of it are self-reflective, I suppose, but definitely not all of it. This is the first writing I've done in a while, aside from some shitty attempts at songs, which will not be seeing the light of day for quite a while.
*I really have no idea what this is, where it came from, or where it's going, but it feels done so I decided to post it. Parts of it are self-reflective, I suppose, but definitely not all of it. This is the first writing I've done in a while, aside from some shitty attempts at songs, which will not be seeing the light of day for quite a while.
- mood:
confused - music:"Mezinka" ~ Milla Jovavich, Dummy soundtrack
Title: In Silence
Fandom: Jonas Brothers
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance/angst
Pairing: Nick/Joe
Summary: There were so many times I had almost told him I loved him.
Warnings: incest
( In Silence )
*For my Squishy.
Fandom: Jonas Brothers
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance/angst
Pairing: Nick/Joe
Summary: There were so many times I had almost told him I loved him.
Warnings: incest
( In Silence )
*For my Squishy.
- mood:
excited - music:"Homecoming" ~ Hey Monday
Title: Crossing the Line
Fandom: Jonas Brothers
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance
Pairing: Joe/Kevin
Summary: "God, we are so going to hell for this."
Warnings: incest, sacrilege
( Part I )
( Part II )
*Someday I want to meet the pope and tell him what great things Catholic school has led me to writing. I've been wanting to write a third part to this, but I'm completely out of sacriligious ideas. If anyone can give me suggestions, I'd be glad to write them.
Fandom: Jonas Brothers
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance
Pairing: Joe/Kevin
Summary: "God, we are so going to hell for this."
Warnings: incest, sacrilege
( Part I )
( Part II )
*Someday I want to meet the pope and tell him what great things Catholic school has led me to writing. I've been wanting to write a third part to this, but I'm completely out of sacriligious ideas. If anyone can give me suggestions, I'd be glad to write them.
- mood: content
- music:"Like We Never Loved Before" ~ Faith Hill & Tim McGraw
Title: Break Me Harder
Fandom: J.O.N.A.S.
Rating: R
Genre: angst/drama
Summary: This was, by far, the worst situation we had ever found ourselves in. There was no doubt in my mind that while the other agents had horror stories about being captured by power-hungry sadists, none of them could top this.
Warnings: violence, rape, incest
( Break Me Harder )
*I put more time and thought into this fic than anything else I've ever written, and it means a lot to me. It was deleted off FanFiction.net last month and it is the reason I created this journal; I won't have my creativity stifled by a bunch of tyrants who don't even have the decency to admit the real reason they remove stories they don't like.
Fandom: J.O.N.A.S.
Rating: R
Genre: angst/drama
Summary: This was, by far, the worst situation we had ever found ourselves in. There was no doubt in my mind that while the other agents had horror stories about being captured by power-hungry sadists, none of them could top this.
Warnings: violence, rape, incest
( Break Me Harder )
*I put more time and thought into this fic than anything else I've ever written, and it means a lot to me. It was deleted off FanFiction.net last month and it is the reason I created this journal; I won't have my creativity stifled by a bunch of tyrants who don't even have the decency to admit the real reason they remove stories they don't like.
- mood:
busy - music:"Neighbors" ~ The Academy Is...
“Savior”
He works the stage like a god,
Throwing back his arms
And inviting worship
On an invisible cross.
Drowning in the sticky sweet fog
Of smoke and beer and ecstatic bodies,
I give in and bow down,
Submitting my belief-weary ears
To this new religion.
So this is eternal life.
*I wrote this down in about fifteen minutes after having the idea in my head all day, so it may not be completely done yet.
He works the stage like a god,
Throwing back his arms
And inviting worship
On an invisible cross.
Drowning in the sticky sweet fog
Of smoke and beer and ecstatic bodies,
I give in and bow down,
Submitting my belief-weary ears
To this new religion.
So this is eternal life.
*I wrote this down in about fifteen minutes after having the idea in my head all day, so it may not be completely done yet.
- mood:
sick - music:"The Test" ~ The Academy Is...
Title: Temptation
Fandom: Twin Peaks
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance/drama
Summary: She was Temptation, plain and simple. But Temptation is rarely ever plain or simple...
( Temptation )
*Sorry that it's been a while. Life has been busy since NaNoWriMo started and real life decided to be dramatic, which also took up a lot of time and energy, so updating here has been last on my list of priorities.
Fandom: Twin Peaks
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance/drama
Summary: She was Temptation, plain and simple. But Temptation is rarely ever plain or simple...
( Temptation )
*Sorry that it's been a while. Life has been busy since NaNoWriMo started and real life decided to be dramatic, which also took up a lot of time and energy, so updating here has been last on my list of priorities.
- mood: busy
- music:"If I Had $1000000" ~ Barenaked Ladies
“Finale”
He waits for the pulse of tempo to shift
‘Til fast becomes trance and he offers a hand
Reaching for her as she reaches for him
Drifting entwined at the music’s command
She loses her grasp and knows it won’t last
As harder she clings to the soft leather coat
Willing her dream to soar or to crash
And slips in his pocket goodbye on a note
He waits for the pulse of tempo to shift
‘Til fast becomes trance and he offers a hand
Reaching for her as she reaches for him
Drifting entwined at the music’s command
She loses her grasp and knows it won’t last
As harder she clings to the soft leather coat
Willing her dream to soar or to crash
And slips in his pocket goodbye on a note
- mood:
tired
“Snowfall”
O treacherous heart of mine,
Keep thy lies and thy misgivings to thyself!
For where there is no reason,
There can be no choice.
For there is nothing in my head,
None but that fissures are grown too wide,
And chasms grown too deep.
If thou wrongly loved again, perhaps,
But it is not such.
I cannot place why,
And indecision causes our destruction.
The white sheets of heaven come crashing down.
Perfection in its utmost falls,
But shining still, even in collapse.
How has it come to this?
Why have you decided thus?
He has done nothing wrong.
He has done nothing at all.
*I wrote this about a year and a half ago; it has nothing to do with my current relationship.
O treacherous heart of mine,
Keep thy lies and thy misgivings to thyself!
For where there is no reason,
There can be no choice.
For there is nothing in my head,
None but that fissures are grown too wide,
And chasms grown too deep.
If thou wrongly loved again, perhaps,
But it is not such.
I cannot place why,
And indecision causes our destruction.
The white sheets of heaven come crashing down.
Perfection in its utmost falls,
But shining still, even in collapse.
How has it come to this?
Why have you decided thus?
He has done nothing wrong.
He has done nothing at all.
*I wrote this about a year and a half ago; it has nothing to do with my current relationship.
- mood: grateful
- music:"I Want You To Want Me" ~ Letters to Cleo//10 Things I Hate About You
“Jaded”
She collects green Skittles
In glass jars on the kitchen shelf.
It starts with a habit,
Leaving open rainbow bags
On the counter by the sink,
As always, for him.
She barely even registers the mess of ripped packets,
Spilling emerald reminders and cluttering spotless tile,
Until her sister suggests
With gentle sympathy, always gentle,
That she tidy up.
But she can’t bear to throw them away,
To sweep them into the gaping mouth of the trashcan
Like they never existed,
Like he never existed,
So she puts them in jars, jars from his mother,
Watching grass and trees and Christmas wreaths,
Summer evening salads and apple cider bottles,
Silky spotted ties and worn polo shirts,
Pile up behind the clear barrier,
Filling the empty spaces in her life with memories of
Green… green… green…
She collects green Skittles
In glass jars on the kitchen shelf.
It starts with a habit,
Leaving open rainbow bags
On the counter by the sink,
As always, for him.
She barely even registers the mess of ripped packets,
Spilling emerald reminders and cluttering spotless tile,
Until her sister suggests
With gentle sympathy, always gentle,
That she tidy up.
But she can’t bear to throw them away,
To sweep them into the gaping mouth of the trashcan
Like they never existed,
Like he never existed,
So she puts them in jars, jars from his mother,
Watching grass and trees and Christmas wreaths,
Summer evening salads and apple cider bottles,
Silky spotted ties and worn polo shirts,
Pile up behind the clear barrier,
Filling the empty spaces in her life with memories of
Green… green… green…
- mood:
hungry - music:"Time Warp" ~ The Rocky Horror Picture Show
“Again”
The first time he climbs her hair
Curiosity
The second time
Enchantment
The third
Compassion
Then
Hope
Trust
Love
Lust
...
..
.
And so on and so forth
But eventually
Silk turns to hay beneath his fingers
Catching and ripping
Callused and bleeding skin
Yet upward and onward he strives
Seeking pain but unable to stop
Forced to yearn
Drawn to return
She is a witch, her beauty her spell
Her mother has clearly taught her well
Soon, he slips
(Stones mocking his fall)
Betrayed and confused
Blinded, alone
Cursed and calling her name
And hating all the while
He still only sees her smile
The first time he climbs her hair
Curiosity
The second time
Enchantment
The third
Compassion
Then
Hope
Trust
Love
Lust
...
..
.
And so on and so forth
But eventually
Silk turns to hay beneath his fingers
Catching and ripping
Callused and bleeding skin
Yet upward and onward he strives
Seeking pain but unable to stop
Forced to yearn
Drawn to return
She is a witch, her beauty her spell
Her mother has clearly taught her well
Soon, he slips
(Stones mocking his fall)
Betrayed and confused
Blinded, alone
Cursed and calling her name
And hating all the while
He still only sees her smile
- mood: content
- music:"'Ulalena : The Mind Reaches Out" ~ 'Ulalena
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chasethestars
chasethestars